OMG GUUUUUUUYS! GOT HOME FROM BERLIN LAST NIGHT AFTER THE BEST WEEKEND IN MY LIFE WITH JEDWARD!!! Gonna write it all now!

Okay, so me and Steffi started our trip to Berlin Wednesday evening, and we got to Berlin early on Thursday. Fanny and Josefin we're coming around 7PM and we got to check in really early @ the hotel. We were staying at the Nhow hotel, where the twins stayed the other times they've been in Berlin! We met LOADS of cool German, Polish, UK and Swedish fans outside the hotel! They were all so lovely, so every fan from Berlin - YOU ROCKKKKED! Soo, we pretty much camped outside our own hotel the whole day, except for when me and Steffi went to Alexanderplatz to buy the Jedward Victory CD! (Gonna skip the boring parts about being cold as hell, lending all the fans my jackets and sweaters hahaha). Anyways, Fanny and Josefin arrived and checked in and we continued to camp! We actually found the Skyscraper room OMG! So cool, we were like rolling around in the chairs hugging eachother and leaning against the window LMAO, check me out! ;) Okaay, we stayed up until 3AM when most of the fans had left and it was pretty obvious they weren't staying at the nhow hotel. We were so disappointed, I was so frustrated and exhausted. I sat my alarm really early cuz we had to go to the Sat1 studious the next day, to try and meet the twins before and after the show. We arrived there around 7.30 with a HUGE Sweden flag and two smaller ones. After a couple of minutes the twins arrived, OMG it felt so good meeting them after 2 and a half months :') They didn't see us at first cuz we didn't want to push through, but then Edward saw us, waved and was like "Heey girls, oh hey Nicole!" (Probably cuz I was the only one who hadn't met them in Stockholm the weekend before). Got some awesome jedhugs, (gooooooosh I missed them so much :O) and as always, Edward was patting my hair. I was like "OMG it's even craZier now then before, it's gona all curly" and he was like "Yeeeah OMG, so cool!". John also came over and hugged us loads and told us how happy he was to see us, such a sweetheart really! He also asked if no one had told us their hotel, and we told him that nobody knew wich one it was. And then.. AAAAAAH, he told us :') So amazing! We wrote it down on our phones, and after a couple of minutes the twins had to go inside to record the show. We had so much fun waiting for the twins, singing "WE'RE SWEDISH VIKINGS, WE'RE SWEDISH VIKINGS, TOLD WE WERE AWESOME CUZ WERE SWEDSIH VIKINGS", "FEST HOS VIKING", "OOOOOOOOH, I'M A SWEDISH VI-I-KING, VI-I-KING" and so on... Hahaha we had so much fun!! Me and Steffi danced outside the glasswindows too and OMG HAHAHAHA! We danced the Distortion dance, and when we looked up, Edward had been standing inside watching us for like a minute, so awkward HAHAHA! He was full on laughing, so craZy!
Okay, so after a while the twins were going outside again and it was actually CROWDED outside the door, we were stading like 2 meters away cuz it was like craZy (I NEVER push because people who push SUCKS OKAY!), and John opened a small door on the side right next to us before goign outside and he was like "Okay just push your way through to the door now" LMAAO! Hahaha he's so funny! We tried to get closer but I get really claustophobic so I backed off. The twins came outside and like, they couldn't move at all. The fans were actually mobbing them at the door, and I was kinda upset, standing on my own in the back. I mean I went all the way from Sweden to meet them and the fans in Berlin was pushing SO MUCH, I couldn't even get there. Suddenly John sees me and pushed through the crowd with fans with his arms full of soooo many cool gifts, the german fans are SOO GOOD at making gifts okay! Anyways, he walks up to me and puts down all the gifts and asks me if I want to take some pictures, how sweet is that?!?! I was so happy, I can't believe he did that! They are really so amazing, always taking time for all their fans! We took some really nice pictures, here they are!
After taking the pics they kinda had to leave so John went into their cab. We were just about to go when Edward walked up to me saying "I love you Nicole" before leaving! So cute, I was like "Awwwwwh, I love you too okay!". So awesome! They totally rockkkkk my sockkkkks :D After they left we went to Alexanderplatz to buy some more gifts and CD, and then we got back to our hotel to get ready for the concert. We ordered a big cab for me, Steffi, Fanny, Josefin, Elin, Amanda and Kikki. We didn't know wheter to go to the concert or to their hotel to see if they were there. We ended up going to the hotel, and omg I'm so glad we did! We asked the taxidriver to put on our Victory CD for us in the cab! We were full on raving! When we arrived at the hotel we saw some of the dancers jumping in to this big black cab, but we couldn't really see through the tinted windows. Just as we passed by I saw A FREAKING QUIFF in the backseat and I was like OMG TURN THE TAXI AROUND AND FOLLOW THAT CAB NOOOOOOOOOOW HURRY UP! Their taxi started to drive away but thank GOD they got a red light just down the street! Our amazing taxidriver turned around at the spot and followed them as fast a he could! We told him to honk at the cab, at first he didn't and then we told him that the guys on the CD was in the car, and he honked at them twice :') They turned around and saw us in the car and waved and everything, we rolled down our windows and put the Swedish flag out! Our driver even drove against a red light to not loose them HAHAHAHA! We drove after them all the way to the concert, raving to Get Up And Dance! We actually kinda got in backstage, so cool! When I opened the door John was outside so I kinda fell into his arms LMAO! Tipped the taxidriver well, and then I got a hug from Edward too, he told us we were so awesome following them. At that point I didn't even know they had tweeted about us :') CHECK IT OUT! Okay so anyways, it was actually so crowded that we didn't get to meet the twins at all, they were literally pushed up against the walls and fences... (FENCES LMFAO). At one point tho, Edward told all the fans to wave at us and no-one did except for him... LMAO. I felt really loved :') But, while waiting for the twins to go inside and while standing in the que I got to meet some really lovely UK fans! They were actually so amazing, we talked for ages, and now I'm even more excited about going to Birmingham! Can't wait to meet them again, they were lovely!! I also talked to Patrick, I asked him if he liked his job and he was like "Yeeeah I love my job!". So sweet! I even got a picture with him, proper fangirling! SUCH A SWEETHEART!

Okay, so I realized I won't have the money to go to Stockholm in September and it really breaks my heart. To avoid thinking to much about it and letting it break me down totally I'm gonna write about something else that makes me happy - UK TOUR!

I seriously can't believe I'm actually going to the UK for their tour. I will never forget me and Candice, sitting on skype all night joking about how much fun it would be if I could fly over and stay at her place, meeting all the cool UK fans and stuff. I started to count my money, realizing that if I really saved up I'd defo manage to get enough money to go there... I ran to the livingroom and asked my mum, prepared for a blank NO. She asked me a little about the whole thing, and then she went "Well, if you think you'll have the money for it, then go". OMG. I remember crying as I ran to the computer again, screaming to Candice "AAAAAAAAAAAH SHE SAID YEEES". Okay people, I'm soo excited!

I'm gonna take the flight there all by myself. Last time I flew I was five, I'm already so nervous about my luggage and stuff... Then I'm gonna stay with Candice, OMG it's gonna be craZy, drinking soo much Ribena, getting hypo from loads and loads of candy, LMAO it's gonna be jepic! Then we're going to London, like, can you believe it?! I've wanted to go there my entire life, and now I actually am, meeting all the cool jedheads and John & Edward :') AAAAAH!

Gonna stay at the coolest hotel ever, really near the O2. Me, Candice, Katie and Mollie. It's gonna be a disaster ok, but so much fun. There's actually a chinese restaurant next to it. Just so you know... I'm so excited, meeting all the people I tweet every day. AAAH, can't wait!! UK JEDHEADS, WATCH OUT, NICOLE'S BRINGING SOME SWEDISH SUGAR ;)

Gonna write about Germany and Berlin as well, just not today!! Kärlek!

WARNING! This has nothing to do with Jedward, 'nor my life as jedicted. This is just funny stuff! - Omg, I was talking to Candice about makeup and perfumes and stuff today, and I decided to show her all my perfumes. And I realized I have soooo many perfumes and scents, like deodorants and bodylotions and body sprays! I found 18, but I probably have more stuff hidden in my drawers. Here's some pictures and info about them! OMG 13 perfumes.. and thats not all! (BTW, sorry for the lousy pictures, my camera isn't that good and overall, I'm no good at taking pictures hahaha!)

Today I woke up with a horrible feeling, I'm actually crying as I write this. You know, I got a heart. This small but fast beating heart. And it beats for John and Edward Grimes more than it beats for anything else. The fact that it's beating to keep me alive is NOTHING against the way it beats for them. But the thing that is so hard for me to take is that I can't do anything to show it.

I want to buy all those posters, all their singles and CD's, I wanna go to every show in Germany to support them, I wanna do a cool picture that shows my love, I wanna make a fanvideo that's just as amazing as some that I've seen. I wanna give them something cool, something to show how much they mean to me, how they changed my life. But I can't, I can't really do anything. I'm not good at doing things. I can't even afford to buy a magazine with them in anymore. I feel like I'm not doing anything to repay them for everything they've done for their fans, for me. I know they would never ask for it but when I see what others do for them, what they CAN do for them, I feel like shit to be honest.

I've always been the one who CAN'T. I can't do that maths equation. I can't run that fast. I can't play football. I can't sing very well, even though I will never stop trying. There's many thing I can't do, and those things I can accept. There's other things I can do, that I'm actually good at. But I never thought I would feel like this. This feeling.. I just can't take it. It's messing up my mind. I CAN'T DO ALL THOSE THINGS I WISH I COULD DO TO SHOW MY LOVE. It's driving me mad. I feel like such a failure. I'm actually so disapointed in myself.

I love them more than anything. I know already I will never love any artists as much as I love them. Any guys, no, never. Cause they will never be John & Edward. I love them more than I love my life, cause without them I wouldn't have one worth living. They've changed me so much, if it wasn't for them I'd be waking up at some random place after a party, I'd go to some school trying to be something I'm not. Because of them I've realized who I am and who I want to be. And they showed me that I NEVER should give up trying to be that person. And for that, I owe them so much. So much, I will never be able to give them...

I have to stop writing, I can barely see my keyboard cause I'm crying. This hurts so bad. Kärlek.

So, this weekend I had a sleepover with one of the coolest and most amazing girls ever, Steffi (@DreamSteffi). OMG guys, we had such a good time! We did the coolest twitcam ever, dancing to Pop Rocket and Everyday Superstar, singing songs and doing loads of random stuff. WINNING. Unfortunatley Fialisa (@Homosaregay) couldn't join us but we sang her a song and talked to her the whole night, so it kinda felt like was there too! :) 

We did the craZiest makeup ever with loaaads of glitter and I did Steffis hair! And today we styled Steffis mothers friend Peter with a quiff and took the coolest fanpics 4 real, LMAO! We took so many pictures, check 'em out yo, daiiiimn!

LMAAAAAO TWILIGHT PICTURE XD

Thank you for an amazing weekend. You mean so incredibly much to me Steffi, thank you for always making me smile! Love you with all my heart!!! KÄRLEK!

Hi y'all! I'm baaack! I haven't been writing on my blog in ageees, mainly because I've been to Italy and since then I haven't had the time. So what happened?

Well, at first I had an AWESOME time in Italy, I met so many cool people and I had so so much fun! I actually got my hair done on the beach! A woman from Zenegal did braids in my hair, so cool! It's like a side cut, look!
So, now to the good stuff ;) What's happened with JEDWARD?!? I guess you guys know all about the drama, releases and things like that already. I can tell you something really funny. I actually think I reacted wrong to the 300,000 followers video... After watching it the first time I was basically rolling on the floor, laughing and thinking "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE SEXY?!" Then I sat down and watched it again and my second reaction was "LMAAAO, THOSE DANCING MOVES LOOK SOOOO DORKY" and then, after watching it a few times I realized it was genious and I mean, they always look amazing but it just wasn't what I imagined when everybody tweeted me "OMFG IT'S SO HOT IM JIZZIIIIIN". Well well, it's really cool though!

When I got home and checked my DM's I was kinda sure there would be nothing, but there actually was! I freaked out on the bus, I was so happy to hear from the twins since I'd been gone for almost 12 days! It was a "Hey, how is everything?" DM cuz they knew I were in Italy, so sweet!

Then I DM'd them about my dance performace I had last week, and they answered me with the sweetest thing ever, I stopped being nervous in a sec!
I just gotta say, I feel so incredibly blessed to get to have this contact with them. I don't care what anyone says, I'm so happy and I will always be so so grateful for them actually tweeting/DMing/following me. These two amazing boys mean so much to me I'm actually scared of myself sometimes. I'm figuring out something special to do for them to give them in Stockholm, just to show a tiny bit of all the love and respect I got for them.

With that, I'm gonna end this "catching up" text! Doing another about my weekend and stuff soon! Kärlek! Ps. For all you guys that doesn't know Swedish, "kärlek" means "love"!

The second time, I was just looking. Casually
You kept your eyes on me, at first you looked dead serious

Inför dessa hemskheter som skett i vårt grannland Norge, vilka jag verkligen hoppas att alla hört talas om, känner vissa sorg. Oändlig sorg. Anhöriga till de som dött, politiker, den norska befolkningen sörjer. Vissa känner ilska. Hur kunde något så tragiskt få hända? Hur kunde en enda man göra så mycket, och ligga bakom något som det här? Varför stoppades han inte?

Jag kämpar för att skriva detta inlägget. Allt som har hänt... jag vet verkligen inte vad jag ska säga. Tystnad fyller mig när jag tänker på de liv som gått till spillo på grund av en människa. Jag tror att vi alla har mörker i oss, alla är kapabla att göra "det omöjliga". Men när jag ser på förödelsen i Norge kan jag inte heller låta bli att tänka "hur kan man?". Vi människor har i alla tider varit grymma, man kan bara läsa de första kapitlena i Gamla Testamentet för att se att människors ondska inte är något nytt. Den har alltid funnits där. Istället för att hata denna 32åriga man, istället för att ta hans ondska och bara förvränga den till något annat, ska vi helt enkelt låta honom vara minsta fokuset. Att tänka på tragedin i Norge och säga "den jävlen som hade ihjäl så mycket människor ska straffas" är bara ett sätt att sprida vidare ondskan som han skapade. Att däremot tänka på de oskyldiga människor som dött i onödan, alla de familjer i Norge som just nu sörjer och tänka "stackars människa som hamnat på fel spår i livet" är ett sätt att se förbi ondskan. Det kanske känns svårt, vi människor har ett behov av att lägga skulden på någon, men att se förbi det gör oss , kanske inte till bättre människor, men det ger oss en slags ro.

Det är dags för mig att gå vidare. En annan tragedi har drabbat världen idag, inte minst musikindustrin. Amy Winehouse, 27 år gammal, hittades idag död i sitt hem i London. Dödsorsaken är oklar. Jag ska börja med att säga att jag inte var hennes största fan, men jag kommer aldrig glömma första gången jag hörde Rehab. En så stark låt, men det bästa av allt - hon hade inte den där ljusa klara rösten som alla andra tjejer, till exempel dom i min kör. Hon hade en annorlunda stil, och den där smokey jazzrösten fascinerade mig. Jag lyssnade på Back To Black hela tiden och hon var faktiskt en stor inspiration för mig.

Jag vet vad droger kan göra med människor. De tar liv, de tar mödrar och fädrar, de tar familjer. De tar barn ifrån sina föräldrar. De gör människor till vrak. Men värst av allt, de lurar en. Man tror verkligen på den där känslan - oh, vad allt känns bra nu. Jag är mycket starkare nu, jag mår mycket bättre. Jag klarar allt. Bara lite till så blir allt perfekt. Det är inte bara de som är beroende som får lida, utan deras anhöriga. De får alla ta smällen. Har ni någonsin tänk på alla de som står emellan? De som står i sina mörka garage om kvällarna och blandar ihop skiten för att ha råd att köpa blöjor till sina skrikande spädbarn som ligger inne i huset? De mammor som sitter hemma med sina fyraåringar utan att veta att deras make stått på gatan och sålt heroin och åkt fast, bara för att ha råd att bygga ett liv för sin familj? Droger är en illusion. En illusion som folk klänger fast vid så hårt att verkligheten sakta bleknar. Jag gled själv bort. Folk kämpar varje dag med sitt missbruk, och istället för att säga att Amy får skylla sig själv säger jag STOPPA DROGERNA. STOPPA DETTA JÄVLA MASSMORD, DET ÄR ETT SJÄLVMORD MOT FOLKET. Vi har ihjäl oss själva. Ta det från någon som vet vad roger kan göra mot familjer. Jag hatar droger, jag hatar hatar hatar droger. Och jag tänker hjälpa alla de som sitter fast när jag blir gammal nog att göra det.

R.I.P. Amy Winehouse, din röst kommer ALDRIG tystna, för den kommer alltid eka i mitt hjärta. Kärlek.

Kom nyss hem från Olivja, sitter och lyssnar på John sjunga Skyscraper. Jag får verkligen rysningar, så sjukt fint! Speciellt älskar jag när han sjunger "As tha smoke clears, I awaken, and untangle you from me". Det gör mig sjukt känslosam! Dessutom tweetade killarna nyss om Sverige, åååh vad jag längtar! Jag saknar dom verkligen!

Detta blev ett mini-inlägg, kommer mer strax som jag kommer att tillägna de massvis med människor som har dött i Norge och en stor musikförebild för mig som tyvärr också gått bort, Amy Winehouse. Kärlek.

Upptäckte nyss att jag inte uppdaterade bloggen alls igår, förlåt för det! Igår var jag fullt upptagen med att göra det här:



Jag vet att jag inte är någon sångerska men jag älskar verkligen att sjunga. Det är min dröm och jag tänker fortsätta kämpa med min röst. Ni skulle hört mig för ett år sen, då kunde jag inte ta EN ton rätt. Om jag kunnat förbättras såhär mycket, vet jag att jag kan bli mycket bättre ändå!

Ska till Olivja snart och fira hennes födelsedag i efterskott! Skriver ikv, kärlek!

Bara jag tänker på vad jag ska skriva börjar mitt hjärta hoppa. Jag har alltid tyckt att folk som säger "man kan inte bli kär i en kändis eller över nätet" har fel. Det kan man visst det. Man blir ju trots allt kär i en personlighet, även om den inte är äkta. Jag var så rädd att det inte skulle vara äkta, men istället visade det sig vara bättre än jag någonsinn hoppats på.

Jag villl bara tipsa er om denna fantastiska videon av min kompis Erica, hon har verkligen jättevacker röst, och videon gör ju en inte lite pirrig i magen :') Vill även passa på att säga att jag tycker att det var jättekul att Erica fick möjligheten att snacka med både John och Edward i Stockholm, dom visste ju redan lite om henne eftersom de sett och twittrat om hennes skitsöta video "Everytime" som ni kan hitta på hennes youtubekanal! Ska göra ett inlägg lite senare som kommer vara ganska annorlunda, jag brukar inte skriva speciellt känslosamt men jag måste verkligen få detta ur mig haha! Kommer sitta och fixa med lite bilder först, sen kommer inlägget! Här kommer videon (med min favorit av alla lugna låtar!) Kärlek!

Heej alla glada läsare! Idag var en heeelt jepic dag, vad med mina underbara jedheads Fialisa och Steffi och gjorde reklam för Planet Jedward överallt i Helsingborg! Vi fick till och med några låtar spelade på Gröningen! Är verkligen supertrött, var ute i åtta timmar och dansade i minst 3! Vill dock berätta att Planet Jedward kommer att finnas att köpa på Åhléns, beställningen är bara lite sen, och man kommer kunna beställa den på We Love Music, alltså gamla Folk & Rock! Annars kan man beställa den på cdon.com!

Jag slängde ihop en liten video om vad vi gjort under dagen, vill bara tacka Fialisa och Steffi, ni brudar är bäst, love you!!! Btw, dagen avslutades på bästa sätt, Steffi fick nämnligen världens sötaste DM från killarna skickat till oss alla där dom tackade oss sjukt mycket! Denna dagen var SÅÅÅ värd all trötthet i benen! UNDERBAR! Videon om idag kan ni hitta här! Sov gott alla, KÄRLEK!

Jag blev verkligen superglad när jag loggade in på min twitter och såg att killarna tweetade om Berlin, och att dom var uppspelta inför veckan! Blir så glad varje gång de tweetar att de är glada, exalterade och ser fram emot något, det ger mig en varm känsla inombords även om jag inte kan vara där och träffa dom! Dessutom var jag redan glad för att jag själv ser fram emot imorgon, då jag och underbaraste Steffi ska göra en promoting av killarnas nya album, Planet Jedward. Detta har jag tweetat rätt flitigt om, kanske killarna lagt märke till det? *blink*

I alla fall, ÄNNU GLADARE blev jag när jag kollade mina DM's och såg att dt fanns ett nytt från världens bästa twitter, gissa vilken?

Hahaha, jag vet att jag skulle gå och lägga mig men Skype har hållt mig upp ännu en natt, ska dock nanna strax! Ville bara skriva lite snabbt och säga att jag är så sjukt glad över mitt liv just nu, allt är verkligen gotte gotte! Jag hoppas verkligen att allt ordnar sig så att jag kan åka till Hamburg i September, ska göra llt jag kan för att få min bror att köra, annars kommer jag ta lån eller något för att kunna flyga ner, jag skojar inte... Dessutom är jag sjukt taggad inför onsdag då jag och mina jedheads ska promota Planet Jedward här i Helsingborg! Myspys! Här kommer en awesome video av en awesome tjej, nämnligen Hush Hush med Alexis Jordan! Jag älskar hennes stil, hon är såååå cooool! Och hennes hår!!! Godnatt folket, kärlek!